When We Get What We Don’t Deserve

Two years ago, a special speaker came to our church and gave my husband and me a prophetic word. At the time we weren’t married yet, it was about a week before our wedding. He told us that after a certain amount of time, the Lord would give us a property. However, first God would highlight it to us and then we’d have to fight for it. Even frequently stepping on the property or land and claiming it as ours. But in the end, it would be ours. We thought it was a great word and often wondered how it would play out. But, like every prophetic word, it had to be tested to see if it lined up with scripture and confirmed with what we believe God wanted for us.

We put that word away for a while because we knew it wasn’t the right time. Just adapting to blending a family was hard enough for a year and a half… let’s be honest, it’s still hard. But earlier this spring, we decided to start looking around for a different house. Ours just wasn’t working for what we needed with five kids. After looking with our realtor a couple times and nothing jumping out at us, I prayed and asked the Lord to show us the perfect house. The next day, my sister in law texted me and said she knew of a beautiful, brand new house that we might love. We went and looked at it and I knew instantly that it was the one. We had absolute peace and assurance that this was what God wanted for us.

We call the new house Aunt Viv because she’s so classy, just like (the first) Aunt Viv on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

We had been approved for a mortgage much higher than I expected, but Aunt Viv was even higher than that amount. Through some shifting of a few things and agreeing to pay off all debts with the equity of our current home, our wonderful mortgage broker initially made it word. So we jumped and put an offer on our dream home, before anyone else could snatch it up. Lord knows many people tried after, and were not happy they missed out on making an offer. But because we knew the home builder personally, they gave us their word they would keep Aunt Viv for us for us for as long as we needed them to. They were and are, simply wonderful people to us.

Since then, we’ve had to, and are still having to jump through numerous hurdles. It’s been like taking two steps forward and one step back. But we’re still moving forward, and that’s what we have to focus on every day. We fixed up our current house, put it on the market, and it sold after two weeks. That was probably the longest two weeks of my life.

During that time I had to do some major self and marriage evaluations. I realized I entertained the spirit of divorce much too often. I call it a spirit because I realized through a dream, that’s exactly what it was. My husband and I never spoke about divorce itself, but I found myself letting the thought come to my mind, even if I was just a little frustrated. The equity in my current house became my back door, and since I have been divorced before, it would be no big deal. But divorce is a big deal and should never ever be an option (unless there are cases of adultery or abuse). Once I realized what I was doing, I genuinely repented to the Lord and to my husband. Shortly after that, we received and accepted an offer on our current house. The back door was locked and sealed shut!

I tell part of the story to say that we’ve definitely had to contend for Aunt Viv. We’re still contending every day. And just when we feel like we want to give up, God does something to encourage us to keep going. My husband drives by Aunt Viv every day. He’s poured oil around it, claiming it as ours. We’ve done communion in Aunt Viv with our kids and by ourselves, thanking God for all he’s done for us. We’ve purposed to always speak life over the entire situation, and never death. There’s a few more hurdles to go through, but there’s also no plan B for us.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned in all of this, is that God loves his kids and loves to give us gifts. We, by no means deserve anything he gives us. We may have to contend for some gifts, but that doesn’t mean we deserve them. We may think we deserve it because we work hard in our job, but it’s the Lord who gave us that job and the ability to work. I know I don’t deserve this new house. I look at it and my eyes and heart swell with gratitude.

We don’t deserve the clean air we breathe, but God’s goodness allows us to have it. We don’t deserve his love and mercy. Nevertheless, he still freely gives it to us. The very fact that he saved me still blows me away.

I used to be self-righteous and thought that I had good things because I am a good Christian. I had such a smug, better than everyone attitude. I’ve since been knocked down a few pegs, which was again, God being merciful and kind to me. Sometimes his loving kindness stings a little, but it makes us more aware of who we really are, both with and without him.

Sometimes, God’s kindness and goodness is in the form of a beautiful brand new home that we could never get on our own, which also makes us aware of who we really are, both with and without him. For all the ways he shows us kindness, goodness, mercy and love, I will be forever and ever grateful.